Friday, August 14, 2015

Looking Back Over the Present Moment, Looking Ahead to Now--A New Self-Interview

You might have noticed that coming to this website has a completely new address now, even if you go to the old address, you will end up here.  How convenient.  The new address is easier to remember and easier to share with others who might be interested.

If you are totally new here and want to know what we’re about and what we do, we offer a new and up-to-date perspective on ancient principles of Truth that wise beings have taught humanity down through antiquity.  There is always a source of pure Truth available in this world, and if we want it and are ready for it, there is no limit to what can be experienced and attained.

If you are truly new here, I strongly recommend that you also read the previous entry (July) which is a good companion piece with this one (August). The two together transmit a clear experience of what happens here, and what is possible in the Course of Training via email. 

Many people think there couldn’t possibly be something of value that actually isn’t available anywhere else, and probably for free (like this blog), yet participants of the Course over the years give feedback that there is nothing else like this Course anywhere.  The only way you can prove this is to try it for yourself—through your own experience.  Please don’t take anyone’s word for anything.  The Truth is experienced as the most refined aspect of life. 

It’s been observed that the most enjoyed and popular of the monthly ‘blog entries’ (and I say ‘monthly’ loosely, as our ‘schedule’ around here is whenever something gets done, then it’s on schedule) are the self-interviews.  And it’s more fun for me, too, for I never know what I might ask myself or how I might respond to anything.  It’s a manifestation of what I call ‘free-fall yoga’—you never know where or when you might land next.

Q:  So what have you been up to recently that might be of interest to our readers, both new and old?  And why are you doing another self-interview?

A:  I’ve been focused on the lessons of the Course, and relating to participants in the monthly blog comments here, where we can share interaction and respond to questions.  In fact, many things that are originally comments following the blog entry, or on one of the Facebook pages, eventually find themselves in some future lesson as just the right words to address and clarify something.  Between the lessons, the blog, and Facebook, a lot takes place. 

The way we relate and communicate online is the same as we used to share physically at particular times and places, a gathering meeting together for an uplifting evening or weekend.  This new, modern way is evolving into something that can accommodate an unlimited number of people at any time, and a time of their convenience.  Because the ongoing online dialogue is always happening somewhere, in some part of the world, and it’s never really ‘old’, no matter how far back we go, because it’s always relevant ‘now’.  This manifests either here, or on Facebook, or in the lessons—where the deepest and most transformative work of all takes place.

If you participate in the Course, you will find it of great value to go back and reread past lessons.  You will always see them in completely new ways, and new insights will arise with each new reading.

We are literally creating all the various aspects of the Course—the blog and the interaction in the comments; Facebook, where we maintain an ongoing dialogue of a high level in various forms as we go along—including sharing my favorite songs that moved me at some point in my life, and still do.  A lot of people surrender into the experience of hearing the song, and especially the feeling, in a new way, or in some cases, open to something altogether new.  Others pass on by, thinking they already know that song, who has time to listen again? 

This is like a yogi thinking, ‘I’ve already heard Hari Ram, Hari Krishna, and the great mantra, Om, why should I bother to hear them again, let’s go on to something new, something more advanced…’  Or a football player thinking, ‘I’ve already practiced, why should I practice again?’ 

I don’t know what’s going to happen in this blog entry, and I have no idea what will be written the next time I sit down to type a lesson.  It’s all a divine play leading towards lightheartedness and love and the experience of pure Oneness, yet it is also karma being shared; otherwise we would not even know of each other.  Everything that is happening is just what is happening, so I imagine that this leads to the understanding of how and why this ‘self-interview’ takes place.  At least, now you know what I know.

Q:  In the previous blog entry, and on Facebook, you mentioned that you recently turned 70.  How is that going for you?  Is there really any difference?  How are you different than you were at 15?

A:  Turning 70 gives a certain vantage point of one’s life, seeing it as a whole instead of being stuck in temporary situations and egotistical melodramas.  You start to get it that those things are so temporary and totally irrelevant.  You might feel that there was a lot of wasted time, but in truth time can’t be ‘wasted.’  It’s just one moment after another, no matter what appears to be happening.  We’re never wasting our time as long as we are attuned to the inner Awareness of our own Being. 

This Awareness was never born and will never grow old or die.  It is eternally changeless.  There is really no difference between Awareness and Being.  Understanding this single principle helps greatly to understand the true meaning of both terms.  Usually we use the term ‘Awareness of Being,’ which most simply and concisely alludes to our true and eternal Nature.

Apparently at 70 it is easier to tune into this state than before, because there is not a lot more going on.  The only people I relate to (outside my marriage and family) are online.  It’s like relating to subtle beings, for the physical body is not involved, except for reading and typing.  Actually, with the body out of the way, it is much easier to relate on the very highest (most expanded) levels of Being.

I’m enjoying being 70.  I no longer have ambition (other than enjoying a good ‘death’) whenever the time of transition happens.  I feel no pressure to do anything, for the first time in my life.  I write the lessons during the time I feel to write, and I relate online when I feel like interacting with others.  I have no real desire for anything, although I’m still attached to hearing from and occasionally spending time with my three children.  Thankfully they make the effort to come to see me when they can, which are always joyful occasions.

I can’t walk as far or stand as long as I once could.  Most of the usual ways we think of someone at 70 are true.  I forget things; I misplace things; I forget where I am sometimes. (Of course, I think I’ve always done that.)  In summation, I think that in some ways I am exactly as people ordinarily think of being 70, yet in many more ways it’s the best time ever.  I finally understand what I’ve been writing about all these years.  Wisdom has evolved over time, and I understand everything much more clearly than I ever did before, even though I imagined I understood such things quite well then. 

The difference between now and when I was 15 is that now I have experienced the world and have attained worldly wisdom, while at 15 everything was an unknown mystery yet to be discovered.  As far as writing, something in me started writing many years ago, and it just keeps on writing.  I don’t know what its schedule or plan is.  I simply notice that it continues writing.

Q:  So after 40 years of writing what you write, why do you, at this point in your life, continue?

A:  Well, like I said, my understanding is clearer now.  In case I gave someone the wrong idea 20 or 30 years ago, I can now set the record straight.  Some people think they simply have to reread the older lessons to get whatever they need, but the Spiritual Energy, (Shakti), is not the same before now as it is now.  There is just something about the present moment that intensifies everything, that makes transformation so much easier.  This is why our Course is about living in the Truth of the Present Moment—this is where the Presence of everything is stored.  The only time we can truly discover or understand anything is now.

Q:  How long do you think you will continue beyond this point?

A:  Continue what?  Being me?  I’m not identified with what continues.  In fact, I’m much more identified with That which never changes.  I feel like I’m always the same—regardless of what’s happening physically, mentally, and emotionally.  More now than ever I simply watch the play, on all its various levels, unfolding before me.

I am obviously of the age where anything can happen to the body.  People my age have heart attacks, strokes, cancers, aneurisms, or just never wake up some morning.  Thankfully I never have to worry about all that.  One way of leaving this world is the same as any other.  But returning to the question, I imagine I will continue to write as long as the writer has all his faculties to do what is required for whatever ‘it’ does.  It’s not up to me personally how long the writing will go on.  I’m as curious as you.

Q:  Do you have any fear of death?

A:  Oh, goodness no, I’m rather looking forward to it at this point, to be truthful.  Is the butterfly fearful of leaving the cocoon?  Who would prefer staying here with all the limitations and pain of this physical body?  I make the best of it, but it’s not exactly my idea of a good time.

I enjoy my life with my wife, Kay, who makes it possible for participants of the Course to get the right lessons at the right time, and we do our best to have fun and enjoy what’s left of life.  Basically we are like every other couple, except we know we have this shared mission to fulfill.

At this point in my life I am quite used to the fact that my parents have died, and there is no longer an emotional edge to the thought of it.  It’s just something that happened in my life.  My own children will eventually reach that point also. The whole past is nothing but karma, and it had to happen as it did, just as the rest of life has to happen as it does.  All we really have control of is how we will experience it, yet that’s the only control we need.
Q:  Are there people participating in the Course who you know will continue to receive the lessons as long as new lessons are available?

A:  Without any doubt.  There are many who have participated in the Course for over 30 years, and seemingly they continue to look forward to their next new lesson.  Some people seem destined to be in it for life, and many of them are surprised to eventually learn that this is the case.  Somehow I imagine the Course will go on long after I have left this particular form.  I have always maintained that the essence of the Course comes from subtle Beings on the subtle (or astral) plane, and there’s no reason for that to discontinue just because this particular body is no longer available.  This body was certainly not the first to serve as a vessel for communicating the principles of Truth, and it definitely won’t be the last.

Q:  So, what, are you channeling or something?

A:  J No, it’s nothing like that.  (The question made me smile.)  It’s not like there is one entity channeling through another entity to reach a third entity. There is a lot of duality and division with that kind of approach.  Everything springs from the simple most basic principle that all is One, there is only One Consciousness, only One Awareness that we all share in common.  It is all-pervasive and eternally changeless.  It is indivisible and indestructible.

I don’t usually say stuff like this in the ‘blog’, but the Course is primarily your own Self teaching or reminding you of what you as an individual needs awareness of now to take the next step in development.  There is always only One, yet there is no end, no boundary, no limit, for expansion.  Expansion is infinite—therefore we have the play going on around us with these interesting and strange characters who are seemingly ‘in our life.’  Our interaction with them enables expansion.

Each individual is on an adventure, whether they are consciously aware of it or not, that results in transformation and expansion.  The more consciously aware of it we become, and especially when we learn to actually appreciate it for what it is, the easier and smoother the transformation and expansion will happen.

You have been told enough for now.  Be open to give this two or three readings at least, for a single reading of anything written here or in the lessons gives only a shallow hint of what is actually being communicated and transmitted.  A person misses what is available if he or she imagines they understand the contents after a single reading.

If you are interested in knowing more about the Course via email, and in receiving a free first lesson, please write us at:

The lessons are also available in Spanish and in French.


Taylor said...

Thank you for this blog post, D.R. The title is very catchy. It's like a koan. I'll be contemplating this paragraph for a while:
"This Awareness was never born and will never grow old or die. It is eternally changeless. There is really no difference between Awareness and Being. Understanding this single principle helps greatly to understand the true meaning of both terms. Usually we use the term ‘Awareness of Being,’ which most simply and concisely alludes to our true and eternal Nature."

Enjoy these summer moments!

Taylor said...

Last night, after reading the blog and commenting on what stood out as new, I meditated on Awareness and Being and "Awareness of Being." I realized Bliss!

Thanks for helping me to make the connection so crystal clear. ;-)

Christine S. Boyd said...

I appreciate hearing your perspective of death and your openness about it. Our society doesn't speak about it much except in movies where it's rarely presented as something to look forward to. I subscribe to the Course and find it helps me shift my awareness of what is important - away from the physical to the subtle levels. This is a really good thing because this physical life and physical body are temporary from the start. No one ever said they were permanent but it seems to be implied. Especially through your Course, this inner shift is happening for me and as it does, I find myself feeling much lighter, happy most of the time, and consciously wanting to expand lightheartedness and compassion for others. When I feel "off" or disconnected and I read a few pages of my Course, it easily creates inner contentment, even if nothing at all seems to be happening.

Mayuri said...

D.R. I loved that you said this is: "free fall yoga" 'you never know where or when you might land next. " It is so true. I once thought of yoga so seriously and practiced with deep attention and intention. As time passes a sense of humor has come into play that I find delightful. There isn't much to hold onto, or to let go of. It all comes down to letting ourselves be right here and right now, present in this moment.

I am one of the 30 year participants of the course, and one of the many things I could say is that the lessons are always new and pertinent to what I am experiencing in my life. If I forget to read my lessons for a few days it still astounds me how tuning into my current lesson brings me back to center, back to peace and understanding, and equipoise. I am ever grateful for the loving and constant companionship of the course, the blog, your Facebook quotes. Thank you, love, Mayuri

Louise said...

I loved the part about now being the only time to discover or understand anything and the present containing the Presence of everything. That's magical. It makes so much sense when I think about reading the Course. With repeated readings it's like falling more deeply into the moment sentence by sentence. Sometimes I am resistant to certain portions and I am stuck in my own past and stumble over sentences then it's like I hit a vein of gold and I am ready to get a truth from a certain part because it meets me and I meet it in the moment. That is bliss. ❤️

Tom Mac said...

What stands out for me in this blog is "the Course is primarily your own Self teaching or reminding you of what you as an individual needs"

This reminds me of the movie 'Total Recall', where the lead character forgets who he really is but has left messages and tools to himself to guide him to remember. It continually amazes and delights me to receive such loving guidance from my Higher Self to my 'limited' individual self. I appreciate and am grateful for this. Ah, to be established in One's own True identity! To be Home!

Bettina said...

I appreciate you describing being unattached from so many things here in life. Even though I just turned 42 I feel it is a state worth looking for and focusing on. On the other hand I still have so much desire to acheive and create this and that as well as the pressure to handle all these duties life asks from us... I feel you are beyond that and you have realized the free-fall yoga, how you sometimes call it in the lessons. This term is awesome, for it is a reminder of the letting-go-and-surrender-practice. Practicing free-fall yoga (a state of mind) is pure meditation, that can be practiced wherever you are. However, even though you tell us that it consists of letting go of control where we don't have any control over anyway, as well as allowing the tension to melt away, I observe a fear that none of the duties, like e.g. filling out the tax forms, cleaning the house, earning a salary, organizing this and that or creating something meaningful would happen... There is some confusion in my being of where to let go, where to flow and where to motivate myself to do something I don't really feel inspired to, but need to be done. If I put the two states (yours and mine) next to each other I feel so much ease in yours and so much pressure in mine. I don't want to wait till 70 in order to live with more ease and at peace with not doing so much. Are these all the attachments of the ego that prevent me from maintaining this ease and peace?- So much gratitude for the guidance through these powerful writings that flow through you!

D. R. Butler said...

Some people have said that they left comments that never appeared. If this happens to you, please let me know. There could be a glitch in the system.

Larry said...

How do you know that you have a mission to fulfill?

D. R. Butler said...

Because it is happening. Ask anyone who participates in the Course and they will tell you that something is definitely happening that the mind cannot comprehend.

D. R. Butler said...

Bettina said, "I observe a fear that none of the duties, like e.g. filling out the tax forms, cleaning the house, earning a salary, organizing this and that or creating something meaningful would happen... There is some confusion in my being of where to let go, where to flow and where to motivate myself to do something I don't really feel inspired to, but need to be done."

Bettina, I could simplistically answer that 'life happens' without much help from us. We primarily experience the effects of what we think--as thought is creative energy. Inwardly 'see' and 'feel' what it feels like for all those things to already be taken care off. Experience the relief of how great it feels for all that to be done. Then, things happen; your body has to do something, after all. So it goes through the motions of cleaning the house, earning a salary, and organizing or creating whatever is needed.

Don't think of yourself as the 'doer' or you'll feel like you don't really want to do it, or that you 'can't' do it. Don't give in to such foolish considerations, no matter how habitual they might be, or how strong the tendency. Just understand it as Universal Energy unfolding the karmic necessities of your life; all you have to do is maintain mental focus--don't start considering whether you want to or can do it, or you will get all agitated. Just know that it all easily and effortlessly happens. The body will do whatever is necessary, for it has already been trained to do those things. Mental focus is the key--focusing on the feeling of the desired goal being realized.

You know this is only the basic overview of the answer to your question, and that your question is fully and thoroughly explored through experiencing the process of the Course. Our primary practice is, focus on your current lesson. Then, no matter how much you feel earlier lessons weren't completely learned or understood, if you remain attuned to your current lesson, you will already have and understand all that you need, and exactly what is needed.

People who do not participate in the Course might think that is a bizarre answer, but you already know through your own experience that it is so true that anyone can prove it to themselves simply by applying that basic principle in the practical details of their daily life.

Some people, hearing it for the first time, might find it outrageous and ridiculous. Yet, simply applying the principle, as an experiment, just to see what happens, if anything, as a result from doing so. And, when approached sincerely, seeing for themselves that it actually works!

Many people will think something like, 'Oh, yeah, I've heard that before. I even read all about it,' and others will simply call it 'new-age mumbo-jumbo. Somehow it doesn't occur to them to actually apply the principle in their own life, and it just passes on by into empty space.

Be happy you have a current lesson and a firmly established relationship with the Course, for it is guaranteed to pull or push you to the next step in your own development and understanding. Feel the gratitude of being guided from beyond this world by a Power nothing in this world compares to. And take a peek at your current lesson when you have an opportunity to do so :)

Colette DeVore said...

The lessons immediately alter my state as soon as I sit down in the morning to read them. I am always amazed and grateful for what they have to offer. I wish that I was eloquent enough ot put into words the profound difference the practice of sitting down to read my lesson has made in my life, Thank you Ram and Kay.

Deb Antari, Singer/Songwriter said...

This was such a delight to read. I love your fearlessness about death and aging. It's very very encouraging at 61 to read this. I'm so happy you are a part of my subtle life!! As a songwriter I really relate to the parts you write about writing. When songs come to me there are times I just can't not write them. I do need to hum or la la la them into my iPhone or they disappear. Thanks for a delightful, lovely perspective towards life and death. As one who's been part of these lessons for well over 25 years I still take such delight, solace, and so much growth from your writing. ��

Anusuya said...

We were on the road recently. Road trips are great for reading lessons. Read the newly published blog and moved on to the final read of my boyfriend's last lesson, which knocked me right out of the body.

We were instructed to go back to the August 19, 2008 blog in his lesson, so we read that when I came back in. Wow! Highly recommend that anyone on the fence about the lessons go back and read it. Hard to imagine so much being offered in a blog. It read like a lesson.

I'm one of the 35+ year students of the course. Cannot imagine life without the lessons, and feel grateful each day for the vision that has evolved through reading them regularly.

Elias said...

Aging and the way it manifests, in my observation coming in contact with people in their late 70's and early eighties, is that it's a personal karma, even the degree of spiritual maturity, the degree of expansion and learning, even the physical manifestations and symptoms, all varies in people.

Your experience in your seventies is the result of your sadhana, karma and personal habits and preferences.

Amy said...

Hi, Ram. I submitted a comment yesterday that didn't post. Didn't know if you didn't/couldn't see it. My anava mala is ratcheting up. Love to you & Kay - Amy

Karen Jo Shapiro said...

Hello Ram and Blog community-

I find the self interviews delightful and love learning more about the Course from your perspective! I am also one who has taken the course for many years and will continue as long as it lasts (or I do). I read my lessons every day-- there is almost never a day I miss now-- and the transformation and benefits keep on coming. First, there is the simple fact that reading my lesson, even a paragraph, puts me into a peaceful meditative state. I find myself stopping in the middle of a page and tuning into a still and wonderful space.

Like every relationship, there are times when things seem to be really happening and "popping" and times I feel less obvious impact. Then before I know it I realize I am in a whole new understanding and state. Consistency and repetition with reading really do turn out to be the key.

Most recently I have noticed that I am getting much better at both having responsibility for my feelings (i.e. annoyance or frustration) and not blaming them on others, watching them and not acting on them, and then letting them dissolve. The relief at avoiding many unnecessary melodramas with the others in my life is great!

Thank you Ram for your service. Love KJ

D. R. Butler said...

Amy, there is no record of a previous comment by you. Too bad, I would have loved to see it.

Sometimes people write posts and then neglect to actually send it. Not saying that's what happened in your case, but I know it happens.

Please submit it again if possible.

Anna said...

I've received your lessons for a few years now.

The first lesson I ever received and read felt like a miracle. I have read a lot, and taken many courses, but nothing had ever affected me quite the way that complimentary first lesson did.

From that point, the lessons only got better and better, more and more powerful.

How does this happen? How does each new lesson feel more powerful than any that came before?

D. R. Butler said...

Anna, each lesson has an expanding and opening quality. Your actual state begins a transformation when you begin the Course. The perceived difference in the lessons over a period of time is primarily a result of the expanding state happening within you as a result of regularly reading the lessons. I have experienced this, and many, many others have experienced the same thing. More than anything else, I suppose, it's an indication that the Course actually works.

Amy said...

Thanks, D. R., for the response. Anava mala has been in overdrive. I imagined that my comment wasn't "good enough."

What I thought I posted:

This post reminds me of when I found the blog, four years ago. I was "truly new" to the Course in this form, though I had subscribed to a prior form, years before. I was so delighted to have found that D.R. was again offering written Lessons. They had been a mainstay of my path, and I missed them like a best friend who had moved away and left no forwarding address. The Course was back! And now D.R. was online! An ongoing conversation, not only with him, but with an extraordinary community, mostly other students of the Course.

Still, in my mind there were a lot of questions -"but how", "but what if", "is it the same?" and on and on. But the pull was undeniable. It was time to jump in and sign up for the new Course. Hands-down, one of the best things to come into my life.

It is so hard for the mind to comprehend that the same internet that floods our in-boxes with spam and gossip, bills and work assignments, could be the vehicle for these Lessons, for so many sublime experiences, and so much sheer joy in the journey. Fortunately, my mind doesn't need to understand how it works. My mind just needs to remember where I put my tablet and how to find "Favorites."

Thank you, D.R., for creating this space and making us all welcome.

Tom Mac said...

Does focusing on the feelings that arise when I visualize desires having come true create more karma?

I seem to be cautious to focus on desires, and usually replace them with contentment etc. My normal stance is to embrace what comes unsought, and focus my attention (when I am conscious, lol) on being established in That state.

Dave Silverstein said...

I love the response that D.R. gives to a question addressed to him, "How do you know you have a mission to fulfill"...his reply," "Something is definitely happening that the mind cannot comprehend". This is one of the reasons I continue to take the lessons in this Course of Training over these many years. In order to get beyond my mind and ego, there has to be something on a higher, more uplifting level...otherwise, this 'beautiful' mind will take all the credit and I end up spinning in my own web of despair. My lessons provide this grace in the form of the written word....and the mystery is that it's not the 'word''s the energy beyond the writing.

I'm actually finding the words of the Course to be even more powerful lately (if that's possible). I recently returned from a trip out West where my lessons were a constant companion. My mind seems to be quieter and more disciplined then ever before. I also feel my own 'mission' is to continue sharing my own 'love' with the world. What else is there? First and foremost it starts within...then the 'magic' starts and you notice it spreads like wildfire to others. Then everyone suddenly seems happy and I can feel the love from the 'one' that has become everything, a true gift of the Universal heart... There is nothing like the Course, nothing. I'm so grateful for this blog and for the teachings.

Carla Orlandi said...

I love your answer "Continue what? Being me? I’m not identified with what continues. In fact, I’m much more identified with That which never changes. I feel like I’m always the same—regardless of what’s happening physically, mentally, and emotionally. More now than ever I simply watch the play, on all its various levels, unfolding before me."
I often get asked the same question regarding my jobs and your answer is perfect! Our lives are an adventure for sure!
Whenever I feel panic I remember to stop thinking. it really works. To just focus on the task at hand, whatever it is, moment to moment rather than think.Thank you for all the help you give me through the six years I've been reading the course. It's funny because I can "hear" you inside of me, when the lesson comes up in daily circumstances, I can see how instead of reacting I choose the lesson. Blessings to you and all here.

Avivit said...

D.R., once again I am delighted to read your personal experience, this time about experiencing life at 70, having no pressure to do anything, and having no fear of death. Like Elizabeth Kubler Ross and yourself....I look forward to it!!!

And...somehow I still have this thing (samskara) that until I get an extra ok through someone that my mind believes is more advanced than myself, I give a chance that I might be wrong. It can at times be from a humble place or from an insecure space. I understand as I write this, that I need to realize the validity of my own recognition and cut the bullshit with the questioning or simply recognize that thoughts occur....i just don't need to believe they are true and further give them power. understanding of your question: "Does focusing on the feelings that arise when I visualize desires having come true create more karma?" is this:
certainly this is how we create more karma,as there is a movement/a doing/a subtle tendency this way or that way in the list of possibilities...this is exactly how karma is created. The Self has no tendency as it includes all options and is just the great golden soup :).That is why I truly believe that "staying content with what comes unsought" is best, since it is only being aware of what already appears that was created once upon a time by the mind.....otherwise how would it even appear for us?
Then again that saying "staying content with what comes unsought" is a bit questionalble I think.....since it was sought once upon a time and therefor it appears now.

And last, maybe today is the right time to say that as long as I've read this or the course that came before...a huge reason I love it is because you each time share very personal stories or experiences....that for me makes this course so as if you are just here, very near, reachable....I am still searching for the right word. Thank you for being so open and sharing about your own experiences throughout the years.

Jim said...

D.R. your post this month (specifically the thoughts you shared about your self-interview format) remind me of time spent journaling. A few times while journaling out an issue, I've given voice to different points of view using characters, embodiments of each point of view on an issue. As you say about your interview process, I never know what to expect. To me, that spontaneity is the jewel of the process.

In general, there is something in the act of writing that focuses scatter thought into a much more productive linear stream. It will quell the domineering organizing controlling mind and give more ready access to intuitive creative mind. Sometimes I'll write something and go "Whoa!" I didn't know I knew that!" or "Where did that come from?" Sometimes solutions become more obvious and I can proceed decisively on a troublesome issue with conviction. And then again it can be just good fun, bringing together interesting things in a non-sequitur way, like in dreams during sleep.

Kay Butler said...

Dear D.R. are away for the afternoon, sending Shree off on the bus to NYC after a very sweet but short visit, and I lay down on the couch on the back porch to enjoy the heat and comfort for a while, picked up my current lesson and read this:

"What is your earliest memory of an incident or interaction with other children? Mine takes place when I was four or five. I lived with my parents in a low-rent apartment building, and there was a small playground behind it where children in the building could play. A small group of us were there and I was on the see-saw with a neighbor boy. ... At one point another boy came and whispered in his ear while he was all the way down and I was all the way up. The whole group suddenly had this shared evil gleam in their eyes. Then the guy on the other end of the see-saw suddenly got off and I found myself crashing to the ground, jolting my system. All the other kids ran off together, laughing, leaving me there alone in shock."

Although that quote is very familiar to me already as I've read from my new lesson a lot over the past few days, my heart was struck again just now and I want you to know this: I've got your back. And so do your many friends and family...we have your back. I've seen that scared and disillusioned five-year-old many times in the past years, and it's clear that he's just never got over that 'jolt to his system'. I'm so happy to read it in my current lesson because that little wounded child--and I know of his many other wounds too--will get a loving embrace now, every time somebody reads those paragraphs in their current lesson (or even here).

Maybe people will even share this quote with others and soon the whole world will be embracing that wounded inner child within, which we all share, the one who just never quite got over the stress of living in this world as a tot. After reading and rereading so many times, I have seen and felt (and been) that wounded Inner Child in its universal subtle form, so I know that it must be a major factor in the development of any Earth-bound soul. May you never experience again that feeling of "a jolt to my system."

Thank you for carrying so much of the load, karmically speaking, this time around. May we all embrace that One Inner Child every day and may you feel each and every embrace.

Your KayKay
PS: it's okay if you don't post this...just wanted to write to you here.

Tom Mac said...

Ram, your personal and open sharings have been transformative for me. It has revealed in me feelings of oneness towards everyone. Over the years, it has also smashed the concept of how a 'spiritual' person 'should' appear. Seems silly to me now!

Each day I consciously embrace my inner Child, and Kay's perspective adds another dimension: the wounded inner Child in a universal subtle form. Thanks Kay!

Yes, I can feel that you have carried so much of the "karmic load". I am thankful. I trust that you feel the support, love, trust and deep friendship that many of us have for you.

Ellen said...

I am so blown away and moved by my current lesson--- and You. I find it harder to read this blog and so much easier to be on facebook. Maybe I should have written there. but I feel like you prefer we write here, Ram. I also feel like less people can "see me" post here if I write here and not on facebook..... I'm on the inner state, I think lesson 39. I am delving into romantic relationships. oh boy. I'm also taking a landmark seminar on relationships, too, and your lessons .. what a perfect combination.

D. R. Butler said...

This quote from Thich Nhat Hanh that perfectly describes one of the things that happens here. It is good to be aware of all our fellow Course participants sending us their subtle support:

"There are times when a case of suffering is so great, it needs recognition from more than just one person. We all need help sometimes when suffering threatens to overwhelm us. We can borrow the collective energy of mindfulness of a group of practitioners, in order to recognize and embrace the block of suffering in us. When suffering has become a seemingly impenetrable obstacle, we can learn how to draw on the support of others.

"If we can take the time to sit together and allow the collective energy of mindfulness to recognize and embrace our pain, we become a drop of water flowing in the river of awakened energy and we feel much better. We may not have to do or even say anything. We just allow our pain to be embraced by the collective energy of mindfulness. Sometimes we may have to reach out more directly and ask for help. That can be very difficult. But other people do want to help, if we only ask them."

D. R. Butler said...

Ellen, I appreciate that you posted your comment here, even though you don't get the immediate feedback that you might on Facebook. Those who come here tend to be more serious about their sadhana (spiritual work for personal development) so even though you might get fewer responses, those who read your post are generally more serious about what is necessary for awakening and elevation. The blog gets between 200-400 views daily, which ultimately is admittedly on a small scale, but those who make it here have spiritual growth as the greatest priority of their life, and they are happy to read your comments in the blog.

Tom Mac said...

Hi my Dear Ram!
A close friend asked me some questions and I am looking forward to talking to him and see what unfolds. My experience is that I learn a great deal from such exchanges. I felt posting here for any comments you might have would be of assistance. There is a freshness to his words. Thank you.

"1. Is it possible to KNOW God? Reason for question: I have a very strong BELIEF about the existence of God in a manner of form or format. But my desire is to be bold and ask if its possible to truly KNOW, and not just believe.

2. If the answer to that question is Yes. Then, My question is: Will you assist me in Knowing?

3. This question may redundant depending on the answer to the previous questions: Is it possible to KNOW who I really am (and my role)?

4. If the answer to that question is Yes. Then, again … will you assist me in acquiring that Knowing (knowledge)."

Of course I suggested earlier to him to request the complimentary Lesson One from you.... however I suspect he has not. Which would be so strange as he asks me for help and I direct him to the Course. It is easy to do, yet it seems people have a resistance or something to being open.

D. R. Butler said...

Tom Mac, (1) It is possible to KNOW God without believing. Belief is not knowledge. It is only a mindset. True knowledge is experience. We can experience the reality of God, which in truth is our own Awareness of Being. God is pure Awareness, or Consciousness.

(2) Assisting in Knowing is what I do. I can assist anyone who is willing to open up to the Truth, even if it is the very opposite of what we might expect. Truth is totally unpredictable.

(3) Yes, you can know who you really are and your role, but you must be willing to accept something completely different than your ideas of what that might be. This is scary to many.

(4) I can assist you in acquiring that knowledge if you are willing to give up all that you 'think' is true. Self-knowledge is not attained through the mind, but by a much more refined Intelligence that bases knowledge of reality on what is intuitively obvious.

D. R. Butler said...

Tom Mac, (1) It is possible to KNOW God without believing. Belief is not knowledge. It is only a mindset. True knowledge is experience. We can experience the reality of God, which in truth is our own Awareness of Being. God is pure Awareness, or Consciousness.

(2) Assisting in Knowing is what I do. I can assist anyone who is willing to open up to the Truth, even if it is the very opposite of what we might expect. Truth is totally unpredictable.

(3) Yes, you can know who you really are and your role, but you must be willing to accept something completely different than your ideas of what that might be. This is scary to many.

(4) I can assist you in acquiring that knowledge if you are willing to give up all that you 'think' is true. Self-knowledge is not attained through the mind, but by a much more refined Intelligence that bases knowledge of reality on what is intuitively obvious.

Tom Mac said...

Dear Ram.... I welcome any and all assistance!
You are invited with open arms!
Thank you!

James Donohue said...

Thanks Kay for your post about your lesson. It puts a spot light on compassion. We can all use more of that. I feel the great support of the course on a daily basis. What can I say. Thank you D.R. for keeping the ball rolling. I like the free fall yoga. Also the response to Tom is a great contemplation. Your assistance needs to be more appreciated by me.

Ellen said...

I'm so glad to be tuning in more regularly to this, and thank everyone so much for this space. This above written to Tom Mac is so great. I say I am willing to give up all I think is true, but how can I truly do this?

I am terrified to experience the "Self" or "Truth." I am well aware and have experienced my fear of the light vividly. Yet I am dying to know who I am and experience fulfillment inwardly and not based on the love I feel from others. I know that this feeling of love I experience "from" others, will always disappoint me and create a strain and problem in relationships where I am not ever giving or truly in any position of "power" over my own self. What can I do to experience this inner greatness and love. I constantly read my lessons especially lately. I have a deep belief I can't experience my inner Self or see the light, or experience "God" (as noted above from Tom Mc and you), and then there's the fear of it. I'm aware on some level (I think ) that this is all a big story and I would love to drop it... (so I say). How should I do that so I can experience my true Self, purpose, reason for being here, and so on?

Also, I came on to write another question: In the Artists Way, Cameron suggests we free flow write every morning to "get out the junk." How do you feel this relates to what you say and I agree about Matrika shakti and that the words we use to describe everything is what colors and creates our experience of life?

FB said...

I had a question typed into the comment box, then before I pressed 'publish' read your post with the Thich Nhat Hanh quote about suffering 9/10), there was the answer; not a yes or no answer, but a love from community answer. In referring to the blog, I realize to let time, patience, love, wisdom, understanding, calm, and cheerfulness, yet great depth to arise. Along with 'when the time is right, all will work out and be more pleasant' arose.
Thank you Ram, and everyone.
In case it is helpful to any readers the issue I felt conflicted by was that in more deeply and clearly seeing that and how my then very sour ego reactions/behavior damaged and begot soured ego reactions/behavior from my oldest child as a child, teen, and young adult. Deep sadness, sorrow, remorse, compassion, and tears arose. My question concerned the desire to express the deeper insight and apology to this now 44 year old, vs not wanting to put more on the plate of one already having a lot of distress going on at this time.
Now quietly flowing in contentment, compassion, joy and sorrow, gratitude that understanding has come, gratitude for the blog, the Course, community, life, love...and cheerfulness!

Jaime de Diego said...

Ram: well, not being I one good to procrastination, let me tell you right now, before either one of us pass away, this: thanks you for all these decades of nudging me, of prodding me into the right attitude for going back to the Self. Also, it is amazing -and rewarding-, how, anytime I place a hassle in front of you, no long passes without a click, and a switch in my innermost towards further realization. It comes of itself, it is not a mental conclusion, or something emotional -say, a tension release. No. It is as the Shakti at work according to Shiva-yoguis. So, clearly, you are still a channel for him, whatever else weird may have befallen on our worl of relationship. Surely is this saddhana, regardless my understanding saddhana as rather a lot of toiling? ... Something else: you have quoted from Castaneda and Gurdjieff. I like both. A lot. It is intuitively obvious to me that, tricksters as they could have been, they were indeed into something, serious, profound. As I tried "self-remembering", it came to me, surprisingly easy, though I can't imagine myself enrolling in one of their schools. Osho I do not like, even if much of what he said was right on the money. Because to me he was a psychological exploiter. Once, the extant representative of a certain guru-parampara (spiritual teachers-lineage) said: "A truth is a truth, whoever expresses it". And a Paramahamsa, my own Sat-Guru, commented of rogues appearing like sages, and vice versa. And you pointed at: "How can you deny your own experience?" I can't, with the awakening by him of the Divine Energy in me. Now, by the way, your earlier Teacher sounds quite like Theosophy, to which I subscribe. Be not afraid of death, Ram. You are the Self.

D. R. Butler said...

Ellen, all you CAN experience is the Self, for it is the only experiencer. It is also the only Knower of the experience. Simplify. You are a bit in the mind, and trying to understand things by thinking about them. Simply realize you already are nothing but the Self, and that all 'else' is imagination.

Eric S said...

Dear Ram,

My name is Eric Stackhouse. Tom Mac has been a very close friend of mine for 45 years. Tom wisely chose to submit the 4 questions in your blog. These are the questions that I originally posed to Tom. I am very grateful for your response and your offer to help. So, I am humbly requesting your help which you offered in your reply. I thank you for your help.



dijaw said...

Dear Ram,

As I write this note to you, I can appreciate the knowledge that I am actually writing this to myself.....and actually I am not really writing this at all. This is a play of consciousness through which God tries to know (him)Self. I understand and am attempting to embrace this knowledge as foundational to Truth. But, as I do, I feel a sense of loneliness and emptiness.....How very difficult it must be to be God! What a solitary existence. For I love the "other" as my children, my parents, my friends...and even the kind strangers who make eye contact and smile as they pass. I even believe I have met my soulmate in the "other". Is this possible or is it just delusional? Much Love, Di